Long live the dictatorship of the commentariat!

Thank GOD for the journalistic profession. I for one couldn't have lived a moment longer without knowing that Tony Blair was once sent a reminder about an unpaid bill. And as for his purchase of a dishwasher - why in heaven's name has it taken till now for us to know the brand? Now our war dead can rest in peace.

Step aside, founding fathers! No greater contribution to democracy and the rule of law has ever been made.